Devouring This Year's Festive Features: The Hits, The Misses, and The Guilty Pleasures.
‘Tis the season to lounge on the sofa and devour a tin of mince pies in front of a terrific flick, a awful feature, or one that’s awesomely awful.
This year, a crop of latest holiday movies strives to join part of our holiday traditions—potentially even joining the ranks alongside timeless staples like Home Alone, Elf, Love Actually, and Die Hard (no arguments).
Therefore, in a vital public service to sort the crackers from the turkeys, and to embrace the Christmas spirit, I binged as many fresh holiday releases as possible in a single day.
First Up: The Jonas Brothers' Holiday Flick
Beginning, optimistically, on a high. This release is the exclusive 2025 movie on a well-known aggregator's list of the best 100 Christmas movies of all time.
The Jonas Brothers end up trapped in the UK after wrapping up their international trek and must get home for Christmas. Their attempts are hampered by an malevolent Father Christmas, who bursts into melody to announce they won’t get home until they “find their sibling bond.”
The banter between the arguing trio is enjoyable even for the uninitiated, while devotees will certainly catch lots of easter eggs as they attempt to get back using all transportation available.
It’s a journey of epic proportions.
It’s not legendary, but is excellent for fans and a positive start to the day.
Christmas tree rating: 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄 for Jonas Brothers fans or 🎄🎄🎄 for their loved ones who must sit through it.
Next: A Star in Panto
Hollywood star Kiefer Sutherland appears as a Hollywood star tricked into a "panto".
“A panto-what?” asks Sutherland’s “hard-to-work-with” and aging star Brad Mack, who has fallen on hard times and whose representative has deceived him into thinking he’s starring in high-class London stage.
His pantomime cast-mates let him know he’s playing Buttons. “Absolutely not,” he retorts. You can guess their retort. Unless you’re unfamiliar with traditional British theatre traditions.
There are some hilarious moments, some touching storylines, and the supporting actors is excellent, too.
It’s the kind of movie that would be a bit naff at a different time, but is a lot of fun at Christmas.
Christmas tree rating: 🎄🎄🎄🎄
10.19am - Christmas Karma
Danny Dyer pops up at the start of this film, too, delivering a signature line for the second consecutive movie. Is this a new Christmas tradition?
This time, he’s a crooning chauffeur who encounters Mr Sood, the modern take on Mr Scrooge from Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.
Mr Sood is played by The Big Bang Theory’s Kunal Nayyar and Christmas Karma is directed by the filmmaker behind Gurinder Chadha. The familiar story progresses as the tight-fisted Mr Sood is confronted by the apparitions of Christmas yesterday, today, and tomorrow, played by Hugh Bonneville, Billy Porter, and Boy George.
This cultural adaptation is at least different from all the others, but sadly he’s not very charismatic and Nayyar’s portrayal is flat—a major flaw when he’s so the main character.
Christmas tree rating: 🎄🎄
Lunchtime: Stuffed
Before lunch for a network's original festive film—which stars Guz Khan as a endearingly grumpy man who “avoids Christmas.”
But after he is awarded an large festive windfall at work, his wife (played by Morgana Robinson) convinces him splurging the cash on a family trip to Lapland.
There’s just one snag—he finds out there was an mistake with his bonus, which should have been £800, and he has to figure out how to pay back the remainder.
Pleasant yet unmemorable.
Festive score: 🎄🎄
Early Afternoon: Champagne Problems
This is one of those Christmas films where the festive trappings are in the background—Christmas is the scene of the film rather than its main point—but it feels cosy and festive all the same.
Ambitious executive Sydney (played by Minka Kelly) is assigned to a French chateau to secure an acquisition for a sparkling wine company. During her travels, she meets a fellow in a literary haven who vows to show her the holidays in the City of Light.
An expert recently declared this is the finest new Christmas film of the last several seasons. That’s a bit of a overstatement, but it is a festive dalliance with a touch of class and gives the required warm and fuzzy feels.
The scene with a lengthy discussion about Die Hard is very good too.
Festive score: 🎄🎄🎄
A Charming Quest
Teenage Chris, played by Lenny Rush, refuses to stop believing in Father Christmas, regardless of the attempts of his dad (starring James Buckley) to tell him the truth.
The answer is out there, and Chris ventures forth to find it with the expert help of a team of well-known scientists and personalities.
It’s understated but sweet, and good viewing while anticipating Santa to visit.
Festive score: 🎄🎄🎄
4.39pm - Oh. What. Fun.
Michelle Pfeiffer is the head of a quarrelling American family who come back together for the holidays—including other Oscar nominee Felicity Jones, Chloe Grace Moretz, Jason Schwartzman, and dad Denis Leary.
Pfeiffer starts by mentioning holiday staples like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, It’s A Wonderful Life and Home Alone, before stating: “They need to make a movie about the unsung heroes of the holidays—moms.”
So that’s what this is, but in reality it’s really a jumble of those inspirations, at least until Pfeiffer’s character eventually comes into her own.
Festive score: 🎄🎄
6.43pm - A Scottish Christmas Secret
The day’s gone downhill, but fortunately here’s a new addition in the saturated market of formulaic, schmaltzy, badly acted—and highly entertaining—festive fodder.
It’s a tale as well-worn: An American woman travels to a picturesque cold country and ends up stumbling across romance.
In this case, Caprice Bourret plays a publisher
